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Sunday, February 6, 2011

Teenage Sex – Should You Allow It?

We all want our teenagers to be safe and sometimes the argument is made that we know our teenagers are going to do something. So we might as well equip them with the best information as possible and allow them to do whatever the behavior is in a controlled environment. As a parent the topic of teenage sex and whether or not you should allow it is a difficult subject. First and foremost all teenagers should know about sex the risks and have a good basic sexual education but when it comes to allowing teenage sex that is where parent should draw the line.

Informing your teenager about sex is one thing but allowing it is an entirely different subject altogether. You must take a step back and think about how the teenage brain works. In a teenager’s mind life is a balancing act but they have not developed the cognitive reasoning skills and hard-core judgment of right and wrong that adults have. Therefore, they are constantly weighing their decisions before they make looking at both the negative and positive sides of the activity they are about to do.

When it comes to sex there aren’t a whole lot of environmental forces telling them not to do it. Sure they get the scared straight speeches in school but connecting the risk of an STD or unwanted pregnancy to the reward of sex is a lot more difficult than the negative effects of drugs or alcohol. In a teenager’s mind, it’s pretty difficult to find any reason whatsoever not to have sex. Think of yourself as that angel that pops up on their shoulder when they are going through this rationalization process you want them to visualize you being disappointed in them if you knew they were about to have sex.

Again I’m not saying don’t educate your children about sex. And I’m not saying don’t educate your teenager about safe sex. But when it comes to teenage sex and the question of whether or not you will allow it as a parent you need to at least be firm and draw the line even if you know they will go against your rules. If there are no rules for them to break their sexual behavior can get out of control quickly for both you and them. Their partners, can be altered permanently because of this. So educate your teenagers but be firm and draw the line, remember you are their parent first and foremost and you need to be a role model.

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